I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
