What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
that is very illegal...i love you.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
