Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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