Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You made out with two different species that night
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
