If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Michael Bay diarrhea
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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