Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
