physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
