I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
