That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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