shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize