Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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