But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
