yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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