Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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