Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
