i just had sex bonerless
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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