I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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