so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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