I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
