Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
