Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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