Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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