it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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