I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
