At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
