Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
