He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
