and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
