At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
