i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I cockslap morals
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My vagina just clenched in fear
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
