I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
