I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
