I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
