why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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