He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
