I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
