forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
