Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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