Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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