those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
