she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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