Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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