we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
