Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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