sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
