some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
