he told me I talked like a deaf person
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
