I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
