I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
