Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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