i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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