I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
