I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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