Your dad touched me again.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
